I moved out of home.
I’m trying to finish school.
I haven’t been cutting anymore.
I thought I was happy, but right now I feel so fucking lonely.
I don’t really have anything going for me at the moment, everything is based around trying to feel better. And it fucking sucks.
I feel like I don’t have any friends, or that I don’t have real ones.
I’m going to end up crying myself to sleep, and I haven’t cried in so long.
I want to fucking die right now.
I want to fucking die.
(Source: foreverandend, via popthosepills-babydoll)
My mother calls me a fucking slut cause I have had sex with close friends and that they haven’t bought be anything in return.
I tell here that’s fucking dirty and that I’m not being a prostitute.
She fucking tells me that she isn’t going to sleep with someone for nothing, she expects them to give her money or buy her things. I tell her that’s being a slut, being a prostitute. She says it isn’t, she says she just knows how to use her body to get her things.
It fucking disgusts me.
She just came in to talk to me before and was like “I need to talk to you”
“You know your guitar, where do you think I got the money for that? You better start thinking of what you say to me cause the money I get from sleeping with people is where I got the money for your guitar”
It makes me sick, I want to fucking smash it.
I makes me so fucking sick and upset to the stomach. I just want to cry.
So pretty much everything my mother has ever bought me was bought with dirty money. Fuck there’s other ways to get money why the fuck do you do this.
I remember when I was 12, my mother told me she was a prostitute because she had no money and that was when my parents were getting divorced and I felt like absolute shit. But I thought all that had stopped since she started getting more money from the government. I’m fucking disgusted in my own mother.
Fuck I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m sick of everyone in this house, I fucking try so fucking hard and everything has to be about you.
You’re the one selling the fucking house and moving to another fucking country.
You’re leaving me, my sister and my brother here.
All you care about is yourself, I’m having to fucking find another place to live and support myself because YOU WANT TO START A NEW LIFE. You’re leaving me with fucking nothing. Fuck you.
My sister has a chance to move back in with my dad but I can’t, cause you’re the one who is my guardian now.
Fuck you fuck you fuck you !
You complain that I do nothing but sit in my room on the computer, maybe cause you’re such a fucking inconsiderate person that I don’t want to be fucking around you talking about how you’re going to move to the other side of the fucking country.
You’re shit. I hate you.
You’re all angry that I won’t help you, maybe cause you won’t fucking help me.
I’ll be in my last year of school but you couldn’t give a shit cause you only care about yourself and fucking starting a new life for yourself!
So fuck off and leave me alone you selfish bitch.
Fuck people.
and in saying that I mean I fucking hate everyone.
Including myself
cause i’m jus tshit.
people are fucking shit
and I just want to go die.
you’re all shit
fuck you all.
All I’d like to find is a friend who loves The Horrors as much as me and would like to just lie on the floor and listen to Primary Colours on repeat for hours and hours.
That’d just be the best person to find.
And that my friends aren’t really my friends.
So now I’m going to spend my entire holidays alone cause It makes me really sad that these people are not how they use to be.
I honestly give up on people.
I’m going spend the rest of my night eating toasted banana bread and listening to The Horrors.
